Delano Herald Journal

Serving the communities of Delano, Loretto, Montrose, MN, and the surrounding area

Myron Heuer Column 3/9/98



Do you like or hate your name? How about these names. Vasoline
Lewis, Emancipation Proclamation Cogshell, Winnie Mac Pough, Ima Rose Bush
or Rolls Royce Hood?

For many years, I didn’t like my name. I never asked my
parents why they named me Myron. I guess I was afraid of the answer. There
are no Myrons in our family history. In fact, as I mentioned in this column
before, according to the phone directory listing in cyberspace, I’m the
only Myron Heuer in the country.

One reason I think I hated my name was because there was
a girl in school whose name was Myran, using an “a” instead of
an “o.” I thought my name was a bit sissy.

There are quite a few names used for boys and girls. Marian
and Marion is an example. Did you know that John Wayne’s real name was Marion?
Not very macho. Another example is Laverne and Lavern. Kim is another.

For many years, while I was in radio, I used the name Mike.
Mike Wallace, by the way is a Myron. But when I retired from radio I went
back to what I jokingly called my maiden name, Myron. It doesn’t bother
me anymore. But I sure wish I knew why my folks decided to name me Myron.

Movie stars used to change their names. Do you know who
Spangler Arlington Brugh was? Robert Taylor. Do you know who Robert Taylor
was? Us old folks remember him as a handsome movie star.

I heard the other day that last year’s most popular names
for newborns were Michael and Sarah. A couple years back it was Michael
and Amy. Seems that first daughters have an influence. I bet there are a
lot of girls named Chelsea. Also I bet a lot of dogs were named Buddy and
cats were named Socks. During the Bush years, I bet there were many dogs
named Millie.

According to the 1990 census, most popular female names
were Mary, Patricia, Linda, Barbara, Elizabeth, Jennifer, Maria, Susan,
Margaret and Dorothy.

The most popular male names were James, John, Michael,
William, David, Richard, Charles, Joseph, and Thomas. Myron didn’t make
the list.

Trendy names include Ashley, Brittany, Kayle, Alexis, Jasmine,
Tiffany, Austin, Tyler and Zachary.

Here are some more goofy names. Cherry Pye, Tootsie Roll,
Bell Peppers, Etta Apple, and Cotton-eyed Joe Smith.

How about twins. Shadrack and Meshak, Bigamy and Larceny,
Early and Curley, Nip and Tuck, A.C. and D.C., and Pete and Repeat.

If you’re expecting a baby soon, I hope we’ve helped you
name your baby.

Come to think of it, Myron must be a trendy name because
all the Myrons I know are in their sixties and seventies. Does anybody name
their newborn boy Myron anymore?. I can’t think of any.

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