Herald and Journal, December 21, 1998

Bring on the goodies and more


Now that you have your Christmas shopping done, have you thought about your New Year's resolutions yet?

There is one resolution that all the diet gurus will be encouraging you to make. Just watch. Right after Christmas you'll start seeing all the ads on television for weight loss programs and clinics. I can't argue with their timing. I just get really tired of being inundated by them, day after day.

This poem will go out as my Christmas card for 1998. It is my last-ditch effort against the onslaught of weight-loss mania.

Gonna eat what I want this Christmas.

So my tummy had better make room.

I'll eat goodies galore, 20,000 calories more

Than a person my size should consume.

Gonna eat what I want this Christmas.

Put the Weight Watchers meeting on hold.

I'll eat pumpkin pie with whipped cream piled high.

I'm the type Susan Powter would scold.

Pass the cookies and candy,

Fudge and divinity would be dandy.

Bring on the strudel and rosettes,

No, I'm not done yet.

Let's push Jenny off a Craig!

Let's break Richard Simmon's leg!

Gonna eat what I want this Christmas!

Merry Christmas and a Hefty New Year!

Back to "Imagine That" Menu | Back to Columns Menu

Howard Lake Herald & Winsted-Lester Prairie Journal
Stories | Columns | Classifieds | Obituaries
Community Guides | Special Topics | Cool Stuff | SEARCH | Home Page