Delano Herald Journal

Serving the communities of Delano, Loretto, Montrose, MN, and the surrounding area

Denise Rosenau Column, 11/12/2001



Let’s talk stress. We all have it, and have our own ways
of trying to deal with it. No matter what we do, it never disappears for
long.

It seems when stress is at its highest, that’s when you
are hit with the really tough stuff. It just isn’t fair.

But hey, that’s life. At least we are all in the same boat,
although I have to wonder if some are sailing in a paddleboat and some in
a yacht.

What I find so strange is that not only are adults dealing
with stress these days, but kids are under so much from the schedules they
keep that they are like little adults with their own cell phones and e-mail
addresses.

Many children today have a schedule that would make adults
cry. I know children who deal with this type of schedule:

They get up at the crack of dawn to get dressed and ready
to head out to daycare before the sun rises.

Then they do their thing until it’s time to go to school,
which they do. During school they learn about everything from spelling to
advanced math. (For the record, I’m talking about elementary school)

After school, back to daycare they go until Mom or Dad
can get home from work. They have had a hectic day themselves, are tired,
and a bit on the crabby side.

The after-work/school rush begins ­ homework (for both
kids and parents), dinner, clean-up, laundry, etc. On some nights, there
is activities to go to, and the laundry will pile up for the next day, and
dinner consists of a trip through McDonalds drive-through.

After the rush, there is just a small amount of time to
enjoy each others company before bedtime. Bedtime, is of course, essential,
because of the early wake-up time.

Everyone falls into bed, or onto the couch, and gets up
the next morning to do it all over again.

Is it just me, or has our way of life changed dramatically?
I see myself in some ways in the description above, and it makes my stomach
spin from guilt.

When I was a kid, every day was pretty predictable. My
typical weekday consisted of school, playing outside, eating dinner at exactly
six o’clock, watching TV with the family, and eating a bowl of ice cream
before bed. Mom was home with us for the most part, and did daycare for
that very reason.

On the weekends, we went to Dad’s house, where we usually
were treated to dinner at Burger King (our favorite). The weekends contained
our many different activities to keep our little minds happy.

The way I look at it, my brother and I had the best of
both worlds. I was fine with the fact that we came from divorced parents,
because they both loved us and wanted to spend time with us. The ultimate
gift for a child is time.

We had a scheduled, easy going, and comfortable week, and
plenty of fun recreation on the weekends.

It seems that kids these days are running constantly. With
activities from an early age, I can’t help but wonder if some parents know
when to say when.

I firmly believe children need down-time to do what children
do best ­ use their imagination in play. They need to be allowed to
have fun without too many time restrictions.

My childhood was pretty low-key as I look back now, and
I liked it that way. Especially now that I am an adult with a family, job,
and lots of places to go, I can truly say that I am happy to have had the
lazy, hazy days of childhood.

I am trying to figure out how best to give my children
the down-time that they need. What guilt I feel when we run nonstop. And
it’s tough to feel. How I long for a time that was simpler.

I realized I felt this way when I was watching a cable
nature program that followed an African tribe. What a shock to realize that
the thought “Wouldn’t that be so nice and peaceful!” crossed through
my mind.

I always considered myself a person who preferred to be
busy. As I age, I find that my mind requires more and more quiet time.

My co-workers didn’t know if I was serious or not when
I announced one day in the office that I would love to go to a hotel all
by myself with a good book for an evening. No kids, no hubby, no football,
and no diapers. It still sounds like heaven.

I chalk it up to aging. After years of running, even the
most active person gets tired eventually.

I have a solution that works for me, albeit a very small
one ­ reading. An hour of reading a night gives me the relaxation and
stress relief that I need. When I read to my kids, they seem to get that
same relaxation. What a simple way to make life feel less hectic.

If you don’t want to relax yourself, do it for your kids.
They have plenty of years ahead of them to feel pressure and stress. While
they are young, it is our responsibility as parents to make childhood as
stress-free as possible.

And make life on them as easy as possible. If they want
to join an activity, by all means, encourage them to do things that they
enjoy. They will be better people for it.

But if they aren’t interested, don’t push it. They may
be more interested later in life, but if they don’t want to, and you “encourage
them strongly,” they may end up hating whatever it is you want them
to do.

Allow them time to stop and smell the roses, and hopefully,
by the time they are adults with their own children, times will have changed
back again to be more family-friendly.

I hope that is the case. For their sake, as well as their
children’s sake.

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