Delano Herald Journal

Serving the communities of Delano, Loretto, Montrose, MN, and the surrounding area

Denise Rosenau Column, 3/18/02



I was cracking up the last couple weeks when
our editor, Lynda Jensen, was telling us about the silly things
her kids have been up to lately. You may have read about them
in her column. They have some great imaginations.

It seems everywhere I turn these days, I hear
of all these cute, funny kid stories that are way too good to
not share. Everyone likes a good kid-story, right?

I have a couple good ones:

My 4-year-old niece two Christmases ago swore
up and down that her baby brother was the perp who opened a Christmas
present with her name on it.

The present was wrapped under the tree along
with several others. Oddly enough, the only present “he”
opened had Maddy’s name on it.

To this day, she swears that her brother,
who was approximately one month old at the time, was the naughty
kid who did it.

I think by now, she truly believes in her
heart that he did it. Nothing her parents have said has convinced
her to say otherwise.

Allison, the 3-year-old daughter of some friends
of ours, has always been a hilarious kid. She says some great
things, which make her parents roll their eyes sometimes.

Her latest fiasco, her dad tells us, is that
she is attempting to torture her seven-and-a-half-months pregnant
mom.

Any woman will tell you that at the end of
pregnancy, the hardest thing to do is to bend down. Forget painting
toenails and tying shoes. I know of a woman who, literally, wore
slippers all the time because tying was such a difficulty for
her.

It’s not surprising when you think about the
physics of it – having a watermelon strapped to your midsection
– that pregnant women prefer to stay fully vertical or fully
horizontal, with no in-betweens.

Well, Allison has also figured this out, because
when her mom wants her to do something that she doesn’t want
to do, she lays down flat on the floor where she can’t get her.

Ingenious! That girl’s going to go places
if she already is understanding the laws of physics!

My own son, Mitch, has kept me rolling for
most of the 8 years of his life. He has truly been a funny kid
to have. I have so many stories about him that I have to pick
my favorites.

I think my all-time favorite Mitch story was
when he was about 3 years old. We were wrestling around when
he looked me straight in the eye with his most challenging face,
put up his dukes, bounced his fists off his chest, and said “You
wanna piece of me!?”

I cracked up, and needless to say, he won
our little wrestling match. He not only won, but won in a way
that was wise beyond his years – with wit over brawn.

That’s my boy.

My younger son, Cam, is only 22 months old,
so he is just beginning to show his true personality. What I’m
finding is that he’s got a bit of a sparkle to him that I never
would have imagined, considering that he is shy at the same time.

Just last night, when I got home from work,
my little Cam greeted me like he normally does. As I sat on the
couch, he jumped up on my lap, and noticed that I had gum in
my mouth.

Before I could do anything about it, he had
his entire little fist in my mouth and grabbed that gum.

He pulled it out of my mouth and popped it
into his own, then looked me square in the eye and said

“Ha, ha” in a perfect Simpson’s
voice, and took off.

Do you think I could grab him fast enough
to get that gum away from him? No way. He was outta there. Luckily,
I got it away from him before he wore it in his hair.

There are so many stories that I’ve heard
that I would love to tell, but there isn’t enough room here to
tell them all. And I’d be afraid I’d bore you.

You can’t give too much of a good thing.

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