Herald Journal Columns
April 8, 2002

Life as an '80s child


I heard a reference the other day about '80s music being considered classic rock. What a crock! I say that because that would mean that I am getting old.

I am a die-hard child of the '80s. I did all the normal '80s things - from style to attitude.

I hesitate to even admit some of the things that we did back then. Now it would be considered so nerdy. But, for the sake of my column and lack of respectable content to fill it, I will embarrass myself to no end for the sole purpose of entertaining the people who read it. I may even find that others are willing to admit '80s embarrassing moments, too.

I look back at pictures of myself and wonder what I was thinking. What was with the back-combing and mile-high bangs for hairstyles? How could I possibly have thought that wearing a helmet made of Aqua Net hairspray was a good thing?

No wonder all of our hairstyles looked so bad - we damaged the heck out of our hair with chemicals. I personally went through a can of Aqua Net quite regularly. I remember having flat hair in the back and bangs several inches higher than my head when I would look sideways in the mirror.

And I even thought Michael Jackson was sooooo cool, and remember going through my dad's records (the vinyl kind) looking for a Michael Jackson record, only to find Michael Johnson. Michael Jackson was so new to me that I had to play the Michael Johnson record to see if the song "Thriller" was on it. Boy, was I disappointed.

Michael Jackson was so cool, and everyone wanted to be like him. Some of the kids wore parachute pants and, now, I can proudly say that I never had any, although at the time I really wanted some. I even remember people wearing one glove. Looking back now, the glove was probably a way to cover a skin problem, and conveniently became fashionable. Lucky him.

Oh, the '80s ­ and oh, the memories . . .

I remember the days when we had to get up to turn the channel on the TV and when cars had to be plugged in at night in the winter if we wanted them to start in the morning. I remember having a bedroom set painted green and yellow by choice.

I can still sing most of the songs that were so big, like "Little Red Corvette" and "Jack and Diane."

I see how styles from the '70s are coming back in, like the shag rugs and funky designs, and I pray to God that the '80s designs don't come back.

I don't know if I could take it, and I certainly don't think my hair could.

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