Herald Journal Columns
Aug. 19, 2002

What's with the green catsup?


What kind of a wild imagination does it take to invent some of the new things out on the market?

We receive occasional catalogs in the mail, and I enjoy paging through to see the new, funky things out on the market. Some are helpful, but there are others that make you wonder if the inventor was a french fry short of a Happy Meal.

Just a quick stroll through any store will prove to be an eye opener - there is a big demand for convenience and/or unique or fun items, which sometimes teeter on the bizarre side.

But you have to wonder - what sick mind invented the green catsup?

It you've ever seen green catsup on top of a burger, you will understand how disgusting it looks. Kids may love it, but I have a hard time eating something that looks as if it has been regurgitated.

Once I got to the point where I could actually "swallow" the concept of green catsup, I discovered that the same company had also come out with purple catsup. That one's tough to swallow.

On the grocery store level, you can now find blue margarine and blue french fries. If parents are looking for colorful food to feed their children, why not try some carrots, broccoli, and tomatoes?

(Side note: Of course, I am spouting off, knowing full well that I am a consumer who would buy my family blue food, just because it's more fun, and also because my kids don't eat vegetables any more than the next kid.)

With food thoughts aside, there are other inventions that I've never understood, such as doggy sweaters, scented toilet paper, cigarettes, and waxing for hair removal.

What was behind the inventors' minds when they were inventing those things?

Somewhere along the way, someone must have said to himself, "Hey, I really think that a good way to remove hair would be to rip it off the skin with something sticky. Hmmm, I wonder what would work?"

There is nothing fun about tearing tiny hairs out from the skin, but yet there are many women (and men) who partake in this brutal ritual every six weeks or so. Are we crazy? The price of vanity sure can be painful sometimes.

The price of convenience can be rather painful sometimes, too, but on the wallet. But I, among so many other consumers, will keep buying into the new stuff.

I promise, though, that you will never see me smelling toilet paper for the best scent.

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