A stimulating spray
Sept. 16, 2013
by Ivan Raconteur

I recently read about a new product that may be the stuff of dreams, but it could easily turn into a nightmare.

The product – Sprayable Energy – sounds like exactly the kind of thing I need.

It is a caffeine spray that developers say permeates the skin and enters the bloodstream more steadily than caffeine ingested by traditional methods. They claim this delivery system will help eliminate the soaring highs and crashing lows caffeine can cause.

It sounds brilliant.

Developed by Ben Yu, a molecular biology major at Harvard, Sprayable Energy works in a manner similar to nicotine patches that deliver nicotine through the skin.

One dose of the product, consisting of four sprays, allegedly provides the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee.

Each bottle of the product contains 40 doses, and will cost consumers about $15. It has been reported the product could be available online as soon as November.

There have been plenty of times I have dreamed of a product that could provide a quick pick-me-up, especially when it is not practical or even possible to pound down a Depth Charge or other caffeinated beverage.

Recently, I have been blending an assortment of tropical fruit into smoothies to start my day. This is refreshing and delicious, but it does not provide the caffeine boost of a cup of coffee, as I have noted while nodding off in the afternoons.

If this new product works the way developers claim it will, I can continue enjoying my smoothies in the morning, and yet still get a dose of caffeine to help keep my eyes open.

I’m not sure I am ready to give up coffee, though. I would miss my morning visits to the local coffee shop where I am greeted by a winsome and attractive barista – always a pleasant way to start the day – but I can envision circumstances in which spray-on caffeine could be just what I need.

When I am sitting in a century-long meeting listening to elected officials drone on about some important, but less-than-stimulating topic, I could just apply a quick spritz to my neck, and I’d be able to stay awake for the rest of the discussion.

I could also use the magic spray to get a quick pick-me-up when I am nearing the end of a 14-hour workday.

The product could be beneficial in all sorts of situations, but, I can also see the danger.

As with so many things, there is a dark side.

There is the potential for abuse. Just as people now consume vast quantities of caffeine via energy drinks and other products, one can imagine that some people would go around spraying themselves with excessive doses of spray-on caffeine.

What really scares me though, is the thought of caffeine spray in the hands of unscrupulous employers.

I can imagine diabolical corporations secretly administering caffeine spray through ventilation systems in their buildings to increase the productivity of legions of office zombies, or drones on the factory floor.

It doesn’t seem too much of a stretch to think some dastardly taskmasters would convert crop-dusting aircraft to spray clouds of caffeine mist on field workers or others who toil in the great outdoors to make them work faster.

The caffeine spray could be abused, either intentionally or secretly, and the entire population could gradually start working faster and faster until we all go spinning out of control and the country descends into chaos.

I like the idea of caffeine spray. I just think we would be wise to proceed with caution.

It seems like the kind of thing that could be either a blessing or a curse, depending on how it is used – or mis-used.

Some people are difficult to tolerate in the best of circumstances, and I don’t want to think about what it would be like to have them buzzing around like demented bumblebees, jacked up on mega doses of sprayable caffeine.

The highways could become even more lethal than they are now, if road hogs are able to get all they caffeine they want without stopping for a cup of Joe.

In the wrong hands, this product could produce disastrous results, no matter how innocuous it seems on the surface.

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