A month for everything
Feb. 1, 2016
by Ivan Raconteur

I realize the trend to have an official day, week, or month for everything under the sun is a fairly innocuous subject when we consider all the things about which one might complain.

Nonetheless, I can’t help thinking it has gone too far.

I stumbled across a list recently, and I’m convinced there is no limit to the things for which there is an official month.

I’m not sure why all these causes need a month.

It’s not that they are necessarily objectionable; it just doesn’t seem necessary.

There are, however, a few I can enthusiastically support.

February, for example is National Chocolate Lovers Month.

I don’t know why we need this designation, or, if we do, why we would want to limit it to just one month out of the year, but I’m willing to get on the bandwagon and celebrate this one.

Chocolate is good.

February is also National Potato Lovers Month.

I do enjoy taters, and this seems like as good a cause as any, so I’ll be looking for plenty of ways to pay tribute to spuds in February. There’s almost no limit to the options for enjoying potatoes, so it should be a delicious month.

Another designation that caught my attention is the fact that February is National Creative Romance Month.

This one made me think a bit. I found myself speculating how one might go about commemorating Creative Romance Month.

I assume its origin is commercial in nature, and has something to do with Valentine’s Day in the middle of the month, but the concept does seem to have possibilities.

Some subjects have a more limited celebration period.

For example, the third weekend in February is National Margarita Weekend.

I’m marking that one down on my calendar, and I’m going to be sure I have plenty of tequila and limes on hand so I can do it up right.

I can see why it might be a good idea to limit Margarita fest to a weekend.

If we started celebrating delicious Margaritas a month at a time, it could have some seriously negative affects on productivity.

A guy might end up wanting to do nothing but loaf in a hammock and play the bongos all day.

February is also National Heart Month. I have to be honest – it’s going to be tough to focus on heart health while we’re scarfing down all that chocolate and soaking up those Margaritas.

For the wildlife lovers out there, February is National Bird Feeding Month.

That seems a bit harsh, to get our little feathered friends accustomed to being fed, and then cut them off March 1.

National Hot Breakfast Month is another designation reserved for February. It is also Grapefruit Month, Cherry Month, Snack Food Month, and, for some inexplicable reason, National Canned Food Month.

Canned foods serve a purpose, but do we really need a special month to honor them?

And, Snack Food Month seems too broad to be practical. It lacks focus.

February is National Children’s Dental Health Month. It seems to me this should be in March, since all the little angels are going to be busy wolfing down chocolate in February. They might need some dental therapy by March.

February is also National Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month.

That’s a pretty catchy title.

When I was a kid, I had a friend whose mother had a couple shopping carts in the basement that she used as rolling laundry baskets. They swore they purchased these carts, but I always had my doubts.

If I had known about National Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month back then, maybe I could have persuaded my friends to come clean.

Maybe there is some kind of amnesty program for cart-nappers in February.

I doubt that there is much we can do to slow the flood of “official” months, weeks, and days.

Perhaps the best we can do is celebrate the ones we like, and ignore those we don’t.

If I am forced to buy some extra chocolate in February to conform, I guess I’ll just have to make the best of it.

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