Driving like cats
June 21, 2019
by Ivan Raconteur

I share the bachelor estate with a couple of cats, and this gives me ample opportunity to observe cat behavior (and misbehavior).

Rylee and Braylie provide endless entertainment, but today I am not thinking about cats as much as I am about how people act like cats.

Recently, I have seen countless examples of how when some people get behind the wheel of a vehicle, they behave just like cats.

One classic cat move that drivers exhibit is to wait for traffic to come along, and then, just at the critical moment, pull out in front of the approaching vehicle, and then meander along in front of it at about half the posted speed limit, causing the other driver to briskly apply the brakes.

When cats do this, one can help them move along more quickly by applying the toe of one’s shoe, but that doesn’t work so well with vehicles.

I have often thought cars should be equipped with cow catchers, like train engines, to nudge cats, cattle, or slow-moving vehicles out of the way. I suspect, however, legal counsel would advise against that.

Another cat move I have seen recently is drivers who charge around as if they own the road, regardless of current conditions. These people seem to have one speed – fast – and they do not alter it to adapt to road conditions, traffic, or speed limits.

The cats do this sometimes. They charge around the bachelor estate, and despite the fact that they are small animals, it sounds like a herd of much larger creatures, especially when they are ascending or descending chairs or bouncing off walls or furniture as they attempt to negotiate the turns.

Another dangerous cat move I have seen other drivers exhibit is stopping suddenly in the traffic lane for no apparent reason.

Cats often do this because they suddenly remember they urgently need to wash some part of their anatomy. I wouldn’t care to speculate about why human drivers do this.

Whatever the motivation, it is another reason we need to stay alert when we are on the road.

Some motorists also like to employ the cat tactic of passing at the most inopportune time, and they don’t give the vehicle being passed any space when they do so.

They zip around and pull in front of the other vehicle causing the other driver to slow down to avoid a collision.

The cats’ favorite time to do this is when I am descending the basement stairs, especially when I am carrying a full laundry basket. I have explained to them that if they trip me up on the stairs causing me to tumble to my death, there’s a good chance I’ll take them out along the way. This doesn’t seem to deter them. Apparently cats, like some motorists, like to live on the edge.

Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but it sure seems like cats and some drivers are a lot alike when it comes to their habits in traffic.

The difference is, human drivers should know better.

Advertise in over
250+ MN newspapers