Enterprise Dispatch

Serving the communities of Dassel, Cokato, Darwin, MN, and the surrounding area

Ivan Raconteur Column – 02/07/20



There has been a lot of discussion lately about to how to reduce the amount of misinformation that is spread via social media.

While this consideration is both necessary and overdue, it does not go far enough.

What we really need is a way to reduce the amount of disinformation that is disseminated via political speeches.

To be clear, I’m not talking about subjects where there is simply a difference of opinion. I’m referring to statements that are absolutely and undeniably false.

Let’s face it – we are doomed to a never-ending barrage of political speeches from now until Election Day. It shouldn’t be too much to expect that some standards of honesty and integrity apply.

Since it’s clear we can’t rely on politicians to police themselves, new methods are needed.

What I’m suggesting is that every time some sleazy politician gets up on his hind legs and begins publicly spewing lies in front of citizens, some sort of behavior modification should be applied.

There are many ways this could be accomplished. A shock collar would be one way.

Before they open their giant yappers, politicians could be fitted with a nice shock collar similar to those used for training dogs, only the ones for the politicians would need to have a higher level of voltage. It would take a significant shock to register in a politician’s primitive brain.

Another option would be to have someone standing by with a Taser. That might give the speaker enough of a jolt to keep them honest.

Of course, we could always rely on a good old-fashioned cattle prod.

With as many lies as some of these clowns tell – including lies that have been proven many times by multiple sources to be absolutely false – it might cause widespread power outages if they got shocked every time they lied to the public. We may need to add electrical capacity to the grid to make this work.

Lest anyone think what I am proposing is cruel, I would point out that it would be simple for speakers to avoid getting shocked. All they would have to do is tell the truth. Isn’t that what they should be doing anyway?

Too often, politicians are placed on some sort of a pedestal, as if they were better or smarter than the rest of the population (even though it’s pretty clear that’s not the case).

These people are elected for one reason – to represent the rest of us. It is not unreasonable to expect them to do so honestly.

If we were looking for someone to shovel manure, we could no doubt find someone to do so for a lot less money than we are paying elected officials.

It’s time we started holding elected officials accountable for their actions (or their failure to act).

It may not be easy to elect an honest man, or one who will faithfully represent his constituents. The political establishment does everyting it can to prevent that from happening. However, that doesn’t mean we should stop trying.





































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