It’ll be fine

Feb. 25, 2022
by Andrew Meuleners

I wanted to write this column this week as a tribute to Dorothy Weyer.

My wife’s grandma passed away recently. We attended her funeral this past weekend. I could tell you so many things about this amazing person. She was loving, caring, and strong.

Grandma Weyer was a special person with a vibrant personality. She held an extraordinary place in the lives of her 11 children, numerous grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

Grandma Weyer made me always feel like I belonged. She never made me feel like I was just her granddaughter’s boyfriend. She made me feel like I was one of her grandchildren.

Grandma Weyer was 95 years old. She saw all sorts of things. She was devoted to her family, loving them for who they were, no matter what.

I was thinking about her funeral. She planned certain aspects of it. One aspect that she prepared was the music.

Grandma Weyer had a connection to music. She was part of St. Anthony’s choir for years.

I thought about her sitting there planning out her funeral, and thinking about what music she wanted to represent her life. I wondered what the songs she picked meant to her, what they represented in her life. I wondered if she chose them because they reminded her of some point in her life.

I love music, all types of music. To me, music is the physical manifestation of my feelings. Music puts what I am feeling into words and physical notes that resonate through this world. When I hear a particular song, it can transport me back to when that song had meaning for me. I had songs for when I was sad, mad, and happy; you name it, and I have songs that I associate with that emotion or time in my life. 

Grandma Weyer chose a song that I love, and that has a tremendous amount of meaning to me in my life. The song is called “The Rose” by Bette Midler.

My wife and I used this song at our wedding. Throughout the entire piece, you hear the singer talking about all the negative connotations that love has taken on over the years for other people. But, then, you find out that the singer has a different opinion.

“Some say, love, it is a river, that drowns the tender reed, some say, love, it is a razor, that leaves your soul to bleed, some say, love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need, I say, love, it is a flower, and you its only seed.”

I wondered what aspects of love Grandma Weyer had felt over the years. If she ever felt like she had been wounded by love. I wonder if she ever felt the sting of love lost. The song talks about love that is too scared to bloom fully.

“It’s the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance, it’s the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance, it’s the one who won’t be taken, who cannot seem to give, and the soul afraid of dyin’, that never learns to live.”

I can see Grandma Weyer listening to these lyrics, and thinking about her life and the moments that may have fit into these words.

I can see her forming these pictures in her head of all the times that she may have thought that love was something that isn’t always what we expect it to be.

In the final part of this song, Midler sings about what I think resonated with Grandma Weyer the most.

“When the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long, and you think that love is only, for the lucky and the strong, just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snows, lies the seed that with the sun’s love, in the spring becomes the rose.”

Grandma Weyer was the ultimate optimist. She would say, “It’ll be fine.” She loved and believed in love. She believed in her faith, and she knew that life was not all sunshine and roses. But she also believed in the power of a person, and their ability to triumph over adversity.

She championed her family. A statement made at her funeral really summed it up. 

“Not once did she tell you how to live your life. Your triumph was hers. Teams often speak of home-field advantage, but nothing compared to when you could have her cheering in the stands. You were invincible, and it seemed so was she. Her last wish was to look after one another.”

So we will take care of each other as she requested; we will love each other as she wanted. It’ll be fine.

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